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My son was in Kindercare's care since he was 3 months old up until this week. There were intermittent times, after he turned 18 months old, that he was starting the biting phase.

We were trying to work with the center in trying to figure out what was the cause of his biting because he wasn't biting at home or anywhere else but at the center. When I asked what their procedure was on letting the child know it wasn't okay to ***, they basically stated that they pull the child aside and let them know that it's not okay to *** and they put him with another group of children. When I asked if they could pull him away and have him shadow a worker for a minute (like a time out) I was told that they cannot do this because it was not considered "Positive Reinforcement" and because they didn't have the staffing to dedicate a staff member to do this. The problem I ran into was that I couldn't discipline him because he was only doing this at the center.

We were told, from the Center, that if he bit three times in a day, he would have to go home for the day. In my opinion, how does this teach a child that biting is a negative thing if they get to see mom and dad after three incidents...hmmm... Well, as I stated earlier, this was intermittent and he would have times where it'll be weeks before he would start to *** again. We began to notice that there were staff changes (even at the Director level) and they were allowing my son to nap for 4 hours a day.

This was very unacceptable with the napping because I would struggle getting him to sleep at night so I had to request that this very lenghthly nap time stop. When speaking to others about this, it was mentioned that centers aren't allowed to let a child sleep that long. So just recently, my son started to *** again. On that day of the biting, my husband was called stating that we had to pick him up for the day.

When my husband asked for details, he was told that this was a behavior issue and that our son just deliberately went up to a child and bit him for no reason. My husband told them that there is always a reason to the ***, and that again, this is normal for his age because of the lack of communication. We were then advised that he could be disenrolled from the center. The Acting Director was in contact with their corporate office to find out what they could do to work with us on this issue.

Again, we reiterated that our son was only biting at the center and not anywhere else so we needed their assistance as well. We also expressed that if we were to be disenrolled, how much notice would they give us. We were told that we would be given ample notice. I asked the Acting Director if she even notices that biting is a common behavior for children our son's age (Parents- even received a notice from Kindercare about Biting and how this is normal behavior from 15 to 36 months of age).

I asked for her Professional expertise, if she's encountered this and she told me that this is unusual. I was already starting to question her experience because my husband and I experience this type of behavior when we care for Toddlers at our church every Sunday. The very next day, my husband was in contact with the Acting Director and she mentioned that she will monitor our son (which I was confused because they should've already been monitoring him prior to this) and that she would meet with him at pick up. When my husband met with her, she had a form that was created by corporate, stating that two more biting incidents and he is to be disenrolled.

Two more could be the next day. She wanted my husband to sign this form and so my husband was furious and told her that this was not working with us at all and he refused to sign this. We both work outside of the home and to be given, literally, a day's notice is terrible. So I found a friend to care for my son, right away, and pulled him out of the care that very next day.

When I contacted Kindercare's Customer Service via: e-mail, it was expressed that they would forward my e-mail to the District Manager. When my husband spoke to the District Manager, she told him that they were willing to work with us and that they gave us until the following Friday, which was a complete BIG lie. He also mentioned that we weren't even aware of their policy on the disenrollment until this week. Then she told him that if our son quits biting in two months, we can bring him back to the Center.

He told her we will never be coming back, and that we will let our friends and everyone we encounter know about them and not to go to them. I do understand that there may be a frustration all the way around, but when Kindercare wasn't willing to work with us and literally gave us a day's notice, they seem to forget why they have our children to watch.

Because we, as parents, have jobs.

To summarize, Kindercare doesn't care, Their staff members are inexperienced, There is a very high turnover rate, and they do not work with the parents at all in trying to figure out the cause of issues.

Location: San Diego, California

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Guest

Employees who aren't even certified teachers left alone for hours at a time with FAR TOO MANY young children, young children who are being left for 10 hour days away from their parents which is just so wrong. It's all awful.

How can one or two toddler or preschool teachers constantly keep their eye on all of the children? It's not the fault of parent or child or worker, it's the fault of a corporate daycare center whose only concern is shoving as many children as possible into a small room for 10 hours a day and hoping everything will go well.

I would be willing to bet that a lot of the acting out behaviors of small children have to do with learning social skills they don't have, self regulation they don't yet have, and anxiety over missing mom and dad. Perhaps we need to reconsider two parents working full time because it doesn't work.

Guest

Dis enrollment *

What else is just amusing to me is that some parents don't realize that toddlers *** at this age not very many girls do but boys do and if they aren't biting at home how do we handle the discipline of we don't witness them biting at school? Hence the cause of their behavior is something they learned AT SCHOOL, how are parents suppose to discipline their child if they aren't getting taught that behavior at home?

Guest

Agreed same here except their excuse is teachers don't want to work "not because of my son" stated the director but they just don't want to work? Does that make any sense? No as well as the students are afraid to come to school and what else is funny there are no icon deny reports about this either for this day he was told to be dose rolled because of his behavior.

Guest

My child is the one getting bit by other children at Kindercare and it's making me so upset. I want Kindercare to call the biting parent's child and have them picked up when the biting is re-occurring.

As a parent, it is your job to discipline your child for negative behaviors. I believe in positive reinforcement to a point, but at two years old (my daughter's age) she knows the meaning of time-out and knows she is in trouble. At home we follow it up with a constructive conversation as to why what she did was bad. My daughter has never bit another child, but if she did we would do everything we could to correct her negative behavior whether it occurred at home or at school.

Biting is not okay and kids needs to be disciplined for doing so. To the OP, Kindercare is not your child's parent...you are!

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-829431

Yet they are supposed to be giving child CARE, meaning caring for the child. As employees, we were not supposed to give time outs or discipline the children.

So, there goes that idea. A constructive conversation with a two year old?

Wow, yours must be ready for Yale.

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-1005278

Totally disagree. I'm a school social worker as well as a mom.

My two year old knows exactly what I'm saying and you can definitely have a constructive conversation with them. Many times when I am given a situation where a child is biting, it's because of speech delays, autism, or just plain seeing another child do it to them or someone else. They may have seen a reaction and felt this could work for them as well. There needs to be some type of correction as a break as well as explaining why it was not ok.

This can also be revisited at home. Many kids with significant speech delays will communicate their anger or frustration with biting. Unfortunately, in these cases they may need outside supports. A day care is not meant to address severe behaviors or special ed needs.

If I was the mom whose child was getting bit, I too would be understandably upset. I would want to know what is being done with the issue. How will they be handling it? On the buisness side, if i have 5 parents upset verses the one parent of the biter upset, I'm going to take the 5 parents over the biter.

It's too much of a liability as well as a loss if other parents leave to find other daycare options. Sorry but as angry as a parent may be, sometimes significant behaviors need to be addressed outside of a daycare. And if it is only at the daycare then maybe you should dis-enroll them.

I sure would. I mean why stay if you have never seen this at your home.

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-1307584

As a parent of a kid who both bites (when teething) and has been bitten several times, I don't understand why you are faulting the parents. It is one thing if the kid is completely out of control.

But, and you should know this if you went through child development training, biting is normal behavior (less common in girls). Perhaps what you should fault is the daycare who is clearly not paying close enough attention to the kids to prevent the biting. You are paying them to care for your kids.

If they are not capable of doing that in the ratio (usually 1:4 because that's the legal minimum), then they should increase the number of teachers! It's not like the corporation is not making a lot of money!

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-829431

The day you have a child that bites, this statement will come back to *** you. Judgemental ignorance.

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-829431

I can understand where you are coming from but how can you discipline an action that you have not been witnessed to. The child will not understand that you are disciplining them for an action that happened 1,2,3, hrs ago.

they will take it as mom and dad being mean and will not correlate the discipline with that action. this is difficult. Had a child disenrolled from kindercare for doing things that he never did at home with me or his father. Always seemed to happen with one particular teacher that seemed to be overwhelmed with the amount of kids in her class so it was easy to write off my child as an issue and get him kicked out.

Meetings witht he director and my SIG Other made it clear that this must be an issue with he teacher and that the teacher must be reviewed to see how other children are affected by her behavior. immediately after leaving the kindercare, noticed that the particular teacher was not at the location a day or two later and hasnt been back since.

Now there is a ban on my child from kindercares because of this issue. i will admit that there was teamwork to help with the behavior but if he is consistently placed with a teacher that is an issue, the behavior will continue.

Guest

speaks the truth Kindercare is horrible

Guest

I love that people are posting that you should discipline a toddler with time outs. Biting is age appropriate for a toddler.

Do they all do it? No. But putting a toddler in time out is useless. What this child needed was a teacher that could dedicate a little extra time to make sure his needs were being met.

Or maybe try some mouth sensory alternatives. It makes me shake my head sadly when I see childcare professionals saying that toddler biting should be disciplined with time outs.

It is obvious to me that these parents were involved and wanted to make the situation better. Childcare and education is a coop and this company needs to practice what they preach!

Guest

My son at 2 years old was bitten on a daily basis and the center never removed the child that was biting him. My son never retaliated.

Fast forward to a new director and my son being a year older. My son began hitting after being hit by other kids. No hitting at home. He hit kids, they hit him,they did nothing But write reports.

The moment he hit a teacher everyone panicked.

So it was ok for my son to be bitten on a regular basis, for him to be hit and to hit other kids, but the moment he hit a teacher (who walked up and grabbed him from behind) he was a problem? Kindercare needs to do a better job training all staff.

Guest

I worked for them and I also worked elsewhere. What should have done is shadowed your child and documented when he bit so they could work with you on this. If he's only biting at the center it seems they're the cause ofthe problem and they don't care enough to fix it, you're much better off without them!!!!

Guest

@JD..The ones is Richmond, VA allow the kids to do anything especially the one in Shortpump..

Guest

@ "Grumpstapo," I am actually an employee of this company, but employee or not, the other comments are right--I don't necessarily see how this is an example of kindercare refusing to work with you, especially if you took it to corporate level. They have a job to do too, miss, and they did it. Kindercare is a major corporation, and they have their own rules. If you do not agree with their rules, you can take your child to another center or a private school, but I can assure you since I have worked at both, no center tolerates biting/spitting when it comes to students, even the youngest of students. Once children can walk and have teeth, they are old enough to be taught the importance of getting along with others. We underestimate the learning abilities of young children. It is not solely kindercare's job to instill certain values in your child. What are you doing to work with your child to make sure he/she does not *** again? Are they supposed to continue to let the child *** other children? Trial/error until he decides to stop on his own, meanwhile other children are going home with *** marks almost everyday. I can assure you they receive even more pressure from the *** victim's family.

It's not hard to keep everybody happy, one of the perks of working in this field, but a true professional knows that the safety of the kids comes first, not your personal feelings. They send your son home to protect the other children, not to "teach him a lesson." That is your job, and parent's are responsible too. I have so many parent's exactly like this who believe they are being "wronged" when their children put other kids in harm's way and are sent home. We have given up hope on "making" parent's believe the importance of disciplining their own kids, but we have the responsibility to take care of the other kids, and what you do when you take them home is your concern.

I once had a three year old who was biting and scratching, stabbed a little boy in the corner of his eye with a pencil, smacked a new teacher in the face (she later quit), kicked me in my shin, etc. He still was not disenrolled probably because of fear that his mother would react like this and take it to corporate level. I could not believe it. Look at it from the other end--children who behave like that, no matter how young, put other people in harm's way. It has to be dealt with.

Guest

Seems to me that some of comments are from Kindercult's own employees.

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-519434

Yes I agree totally. My nephew is in KinderCare and just this last week he has been bitten 3 times.

Of course the teacher/babysitter never sees a thing and no reports are even being written by KinderCare. I have news for you KinderCare we are documenting every bite every ER visit. They are way unstaffed and well lets face it they don't care. We have taken him out of KinderCare as this is seems to an ongoing thing and you haven't done anything to stop it.

KinderCare we have notified CPS ( child protective services) they are looking in to it and have filed reports to the state.

You will have to answer to this. DONT SEND YOUR CHILDREN TO KINDERCARE ON ASPEN IN BROKEN ARROW, OK.

Guest

I can understand your frustration on him being sent home and then dis enrolled, but really, as a parent you should think about how you would feel if your son was being bit on a daily basis. Wouldnt you want the center to take care of it?

You are just mad because your toddler was disenrolled and now you have no where to take him. As we all know, there is a KC on every corner.

Good luck, but stop holding the center responsible. They have a ton of children to look after and biting is not ok.

Guest
reply icon Replying to comment of Guest-500744

What's funny is my son for a whole week got hit came home with a black eye server all scratches and a huge bump on his forehead not at all did anyone know what happened and I have pictures when I took him home from the incidents to prove it and I will be taking this to corporate considering that they are not working with my son and can't understand that he has special needs

Guest

Well when he is sent home for biting have you ever thought of doing your job as a parent and disciplining him. Make him not want to come home.

Put him in time out yourself and tell him yourself that biting is bad. If it was your so who was being bitten you would want the child removed from the center. If they send him home for biting than you discipline him for being sent home. Yeah there is reason for the biting which is mommy and daddy don't punish him at home when he gets sent home for biting.

They have every right to kick your son out. He is the only one biting at your center. They have to think of the other children's safety and it seems you don't want to work with them.

Biting is normal once or twice but obviously it has become a major issue. Your husband was furious, maybe the biting is because of your husband's anger problem.

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